


my pace

by moonjaeh



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, Maybe angst, Maybe fluff, a big huge massive crush, actually a short ass story, dont get your hopes up, hwang hyunjin/yang jeongin - Freeform, i dont know, innie has a crush, read and find out lol, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-06-27 20:24:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15692742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonjaeh/pseuds/moonjaeh
Summary: jeongin has a crush, and what better way to deal with that than ignoring said crush





	1. practise

Jeongin has to admit, he feels something for Hyunjin that he doesn’t feel for the other members. A feeling of admiration and love, giving him butterflies in his stomach. A feeling that makes him want to press his lips to his hyung’s every time he sees him. A feeling of happiness when he laughs. The need to hold his hand at all times. A billion feelings he experiences with no one but Hyunjin. And it freaking sucks. 

Being gay in a group of boys straight up sucks. Not because of the possibility of attraction or anything, but the fear of being hated. It isn’t easy in Korea. Or anywhere. Being in a group of boys and having one just happen to be the love of your life, may be a hundred times worse. He would hate, hate, hate if one of his members found out about his secret and turn their back on him. It would break him to pieces. 

[Scratch the may be, it’s definitely a hundred times worse.]

These days the feelings have been getting stronger and Jeongin is trying his hardest to avoid Hyunjin at all times. Well, as much as you can when you work and live together. 

He sees Hyunjin alone in a room and backs out of it, praying to go unnoticed. When sitting at tables with everyone, he always forces a seat between Woojin and Changbin, just to be safe. After practice he leaves straight away, before everyone else, ensuring that he will finish freshening up and getting to sleep before the chance of Hyunjin getting to him is even possible. Jeongin goes out of his way at all times, hoping the stupid feelings will leave after time. 

 

It’s a Thursday night when he finally gets stuck.

 

“Jeongin-ah, we are going to go wash up now, but I think you could do another half an hour practising since you were late. Sound good?” Chan asks, the other members beginning to finish up and leave. 

Jeongin nods. He has no problem with practising a bit more by himself. It was his fault he missed the start anyway. He just couldn’t find a damn sock that didn’t have a hole in it. In the end he had to steal one of Seungmin’s. 

Jeongin turns to the mirror, assuming that the conversation is over and getting ready to continue to practise, when Chan speaks up again.

“Great. Hyunjin-ah, do you mind staying back with him? It’ll get too boring on his own and I need someone to make sure he is actually practising.” Chan laughs. 

Jeongin whips head back around to Chan, protesting instantly. 

“No, hyung, it’s fine. I can practise on my own! Hyunjin hyung can leave.” Waving his hands around, looking a bit too desperate.

From the other side of the room Hyunjin snickers. They are the only three left in the room, everyone else rushing out of as soon as Chan mentioned finishing. Hyunjin begins to walk towards Jeongin.

“I’d be happy to practise with you Innie.” He says with a slap on Jeongin’s back.

Jeongin winces and Chan smiles, bidding them a good bye and leaving the two alone. The younger boy stands there for a while, trying to think of any way in the whole entire world that he can get away. 

Nothing is coming to him.

“Shit.” Jeongin mutters.

“What?” Hyunjin asks. He is at the speakers now, plugging his phone in to, Jeongin assumes, connect and play their song.

Jeongin shakes his head hastily. His heart begins to race as he acknowledges the fact that they will have to spend the next thirty minutes in here together. All alone. Jeongin gulps. It’s okay, he tells himself. You only have to dance, you don’t even have to talk. It will be fine. Jeongin jumps slightly when ‘My Pace’ booms through the speakers, bringing him out of his annoying thoughts, and Hyunjin skips towards him with a smile on his face.

Jeongin looks away, eyes on himself on the mirror, out of the corner of his eye he sees Hyunjin get into his place too. The song starts for real and they dance. 

Jeongin silently thanks the gods that this is his job and there doesn’t have to be any real interaction for now. He keeps his eyes on himself and even changes the choreo a little (just this once) so he can keep a distance between him and Hyunjin. 

The song finishes and when it doesn’t come on again straight after, Jeongin turns to Hyunjin, eyebrow raised in confusion. Hyunjin is looking at him with a cheeky smile, and Jeongin’s already fast heart beat from dancing, goes up a hundred billion beats more. Hyunjin walks towards him and Jeongin mirrors the action, walking backwards and arms going up in defence. 

“W-what?” Ew. Did Jeongin really just stutter? What is he? In love?

His back hits the wall with a slight thud and boy is his heart going to jump right out of his chest if Hyunjin comes any closer.

And he is, he is still coming towards him, this time hands out and laughing. 

“Innie ~ Let’s play.” Hyunjin sings. 

Jeongin screeches when Hyunjin finally gets too close and runs away, starting what Hyunjin thinks is a game. The screeching continues as Hyunjin chases him around the room, being purposely slower to enjoy it more and not to get Jeongin so soon.

Laps and laps later, Hyunjin continues to laugh, swiping at Jeongin’s shirt a few times to show how close he is, happiness filling up his body as Jeongin screeches louder and runs faster. 

“Hyung,” gasp for air, “Hyung, let’s practise, no more playing. Please.” 

Jeongin is running out of breath and Hyunjin non-surprisingly, isn’t. This isn’t fun for Jeongin like Hyunjin thinks it is. He wants out and away. He doesn’t want to touch Hyunjin and he most definitely doesn’t want to see his cute smile or hear his cute laugh. No thank you. 

Jeongin’s pace slows down and Hyunjin laughs at that. 

“Tired, Jeonginnie?” He teases.

And with that, he’s got him. 

Hyunjin’s arms wrap tightly around Jeongin’s waist from the back and Jeongin squeals. Yes, you read correctly, Jeongin squealed. The warmth of the contact freaking him out, his face heating up, but easily played off by the amount of running. He breathes heavily as he reaches for Hyunjin’s hands, at his tummy where they interlock, and tries to pull them apart. 

“Hyung, let go.” Jeongin pleads. 

Hyunjin ignores him and nuzzles his head into Jeongin’s shoulder instead. The members have a thing for antagonizing their maknae, and even the loudest of begs never makes them back down. But then Jeongin has tears in his eyes, and Hyunjin is confused. He lets go and begins to ask what’s wrong, but before he can, Jeongin is already out the door. Leaving Hyunjin feeling guilty, sad and confused.


	2. insomnia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeongin is confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY IF THERE ARE SPELLING OR GRAMMAR MISTAKES  
> HAVENT PROPERLY PROOF READ AND CORRECTED
> 
> enjoy ~

Jeongin runs out of the room and continues to run until he is in the safety of his own room. He slams the door shut, back pressed against it, trying to catch his breath. 

“Jeongin-ah? Is that you?” Someone calls.

“Yes, sorry Woojin hyung. Go back to sleep.” He replies, eyes closed as his head thuds against the door along with the rest of his body.

“It’s okay,” Woojin replies, “Has it been half an hour already? Have a shower and get into bed.” 

Jeongin hears the sounds of the bed covers and assumes Woojin has gone back to sleep. He lets out one final big breath, heart rate going back down. He pushes himself off the door and enters the bathroom. 

When Jeongin gets out, sweat and all bad scent washed away, he has calmed down. He is still a bit upset but he won’t let himself be affected by it, he will get over Hyunjin and he will be more careful next time. 

He falls asleep to Hyunjin’s face, a frown spread over it. Jeongin says it’s all a dream and definitely not a memory from when he ran out of the practice room only an hour ago.

 

The next morning is a day off, yet here Jeongin is, being manhandled and yelled at. 

“What?” Jeongin groans, hands pinching at his body, pulling him back and forth.

“Wake up! You don’t need to sleep this long.” A voice says. 

That voice. That voice is something that Jeongin does not want to wake up to. Jeongin continues to pretend to be asleep, ignoring the older boy.

“Innie, I know you’re awake. Stop ignoring me,” Hyunjin says. 

He removes his hands and sits at the edge of the bed instead. Jeongin turns to face the wall, not wanting to look anywhere near him. 

Hyunjin inhales and exhales shakily. “I upset you last night. And you’ve been ignoring me for weeks now… I’m sorry Jeongin-ah. Hyung is sorry… I…” There’s a silence. Not a comfortable one nor an awkward one. It feels somewhat sad. Jeongin doesn’t really understand what Hyunjin is apologising for, he hasn’t actually done anything wrong. “I’m sorry that you found out. I didn’t want anything to change. Sorry, Jeongin-ah.” And with that, Hyunjin leaves the room, Jeongin as confused as ever.

 

☽

 

An hour later, 12pm, is when Jeongin decides to roll out of bed. He groans and stretches, looking around to see if his roommates are awake. Changbin yes, Woojin no. The eldest still asleep, bear plushie squashed between his arms. Cute, Jeongin thinks, such a lazy hyung. Jeongin smiles once more at him and heads to the bathroom to wash up.

When Jeongin is out and fresh, the first thing that pops into his mind is Hyunjin. He wants to ignore him, he needs to ignore him, but everything that happened this morning doesn’t make sense. He wants to know what Hyunjin was talking about. What he meant when he said he didn’t want Jeongin to find out. What will change? It hurt Jeongin’s head to think about. 

He had to decide if he should talk to him or not. 

“Jeonginnie?” 

Jeongin snapped out of his thoughts and looked towards the bed, a sleepy closed eye Woojin staring up at him.

“Morning hyung. Did I wake you?” He asked.

Woojin laughed, raspy yet soft. “It’s not morning, but no you didn’t wake me.”

Jeongin forced out a laugh too. Normally he would have laughed at him. But Jeongin doesn’t feel well and he won’t let his members find out. 

“Oh!” Woojin gasped suddenly. 

He had been checking his phone for the time and noticed the date.

“Innie, can you please get Hyunjin for me? I forgot I was supposed to take him somewhere today. I need to reschedule,” He asked.

At the mention of Hyunjin’s name, Jeongin felt butterflies in his stomach. Except they weren’t pretty and peaceful. They were vicious, with teeth, ready to eat him up.

“Okay. I’ll go get him then. Getting Hyunjin. Alright.” Jeongin said, hands gripping tightly at the end of his shirt. 

Woojin stared at him for a moment, trying to pick up a reason for the weird behaviour, in the end he just nodded, muttering a thank you before rolling over. Jeongin took a breath and walked out of the room, going to the lounge to check for Hyunjin. He spots the boy, spread across the couch, watching some random film on the tv. Jeongin stands behind the couch and Hyunjin turns to him, a smile spreading across his face instantly.

“Hey Innie, did you just wake up? Do you wanna watch with me?” Jeongin is left a bit confused. 

Is he acting like this morning didn’t happen? Or was this morning so not important that he can continue to act casual. He just doesn’t know.

“Uh, yes. No, I mean. I didn’t just wake up. Um,” Jeongin stumbled over his words and his face begins to burn in embarrassment. 

Hyunjin laughs at it. “Get it out, baby.”

Jeongin’s face flares up. He hates that nickname. He mutters a never mind and stomps away to Seungmin, Chan and Jisung’s room. Woojin can do it himself. 

He finds himself soon in Jisung’s arms, Jisung petting away at Jeongin’s hair. Jeongin would normally bite his hand off, but he’s feeling nice. And lonely. Maybe.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Jisung whispers. 

He stops petting and reaches around Jeongin’s waist instead. They are spooning, Jisung the bigger spoon and Jeongin just lets it happen, closing his eyes and accepting the touch. 

“No.” Jeongin answers. “Not now.” 

Jisung hums, the vibration running through Jeongin’s body. He is almost calm thanks to him.

“Is it about Hyunjin?” Jisung asks. 

Jeongin’s eyes open immediately but before he can answer, his eyes and Jisung’s move to the door as it opens slowly. 

“Hey Jisung-ah, have you seen Jeongin? Woojin hyung is looki-” The boy stops speaking, eyes landing on the two cuddling boys. 

Jeongin sits up on the bed, Jisung’s arms falling to the bed. It’s normal for the members to cuddle, kiss, be affectionate. But if feels different… cuddling in front of Hyunjin. He looks up at Hyunjin and he looks different to how he did when he first entered the room. He eyes have no emotion and his smile is gone. He makes eye contact with Jeongin

“Woojin hyung is looking for you.” He finishes, leaving without another word.

Jeongin’s head hangs and Jisung’s arms are instantly around him again. 

“It’s okay. How about we go get some lunch?” Jisung asks.

Heart sinking, Jeongin nods. At least he doesn’t have to fear rejection anymore. The hate in Hyunjin’s eyes when he looked at him explains it all. Is he homophobic? Who cares. Jisung grabs his hand and drags him out of the room to collect some of the other boys.


	3. question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeongin has a Big Boy chat with his best friends and decides its Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> F U CCC BOY AM I SORRY 
> 
> I KNOW IVE BEEN GONE IM SO SORRY !! SCHOOL WAS FINISHING UP AND LOTS OF ASSIGNMENTS WERE DUE
> 
> IM REALLY SORRY
> 
> IM SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT,, ILL COME BACK WITH A LONGER ONE SOON I PROMISE

Jeongin sits quietly the whole time, slowly placing food in his mouth every minute or so. The other boys who decided to join them ramble and blabber on, but Jeongin doesn’t join. He can’t get the idea of Hyunjin hating him out of his head. He had always hoped none of his members were homophobic… Especially the member that means most to him. Pain strikes Jeongin’s heart. He honestly doesn’t want to eat but if he refused, his members suspicion would grow. 

“Jeongin, can you hear me?” Felix asks. 

Jeongin’s head snaps up from where he had been staring at his plate, obviously not paying attention to anything. Jeongin puts on a fake smile, regretting that he let himself get caught. 

“Sorry,” He laughs, “What did you say?” 

But the other boy frowns in response. 

“Innie,” Seungmin says from beside him. 

“You can trust us you know? Tell us what’s wrong.” Seungmin says, a frown from him too.

Jeongin’s heart hurts. Not just from Hyunjin, but to see the pain reflecting onto some of his best friend’s faces. His actions are affecting the people who mean most. 

“I… I like Hyunjin hyung, but I think he is homophobic.” Jeongin mutters.

The boys sit in silence, the only sound is Jisung putting his chopsticks down. They remain like that for a moment before Seungmin decides to speak, saving Jeongin from stabbing his eyes out with his own chopsticks. He places a warm hand on Jeongin’s shoulder.

“We knew.” Is all he says.

Jeongin’s head whips up to look at him.

“What? What do you mean we knew?” Jeongin asks in disbelief and confusion. 

Felix smiles. “We know you like Hyunjin. God, the only one that doesn’t know you like him is… him.”

Jeongin blushes in embarrassment. Was he that obvious? He couldn’t have been. All his hyungs knew about his stupid crush… 

“But Innie, Hyunjin isn’t homophobic. I can see why you thought that. After what happened and all, but he isn’t.” Jisung says, eyes soft as he looks at Jeongin. “Promise me you will talk to him when we get home?” 

Jeongin takes in a shaky breath. About what? That he likes him? Jeongin can’t do that. Hyunjin might not be homophobic but that doesn’t mean Jeongin is ready for rejection. Instead of saying this out loud, Jeongin nods and the boys continue eating and talking about random things. Maybe, just for now, Jeongin feels okay.

☽

When they get home from their meal, the anxiety sits in Jeongin’s stomach once again. Jisung gives him a look, a look reminding him what he promised. He doesn’t want to do it, but he promised them. Jeongin won’t break a promise. He gulps and wipes his sweaty hands on his pants, a mental ‘you can do this’.

Jeongin enters the living room, eyes scanning for Hyunjin. Instead he sees Minho and Woojin sat at the table… and that’s it. He heads over to the older two and stands before them.

“Innie!” Minho announces with a smile.

Jeongin smiles back. “Do you know where Hyunjin hyung is?” He asks.

Woojin hums in thought. “I think I saw him going into our room last? But he could have been taking something and left. Check there.”

“Thanks, hyung!” Jeongin says before rushing off to his room.

☽

Jeongin stands in his doorway, staring at the back that sits on his bed. He takes a deep breath in before walking further into the room. 

“Hyung?” Jeongin asks. The back turns around, revealing Hyunjin’s face. He looks… sad?

“Jeongin,” He says. 

Jeongin. No Innie, no baby, just Jeongin.

“Jeongin… Can we talk?” Jeongin gulps and nods his head.

He closes the door and sits on the bed across from his hyung.

“Are you dating Jisung?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again sorry its short :( ill be back soon with a new update thats longer
> 
> ALSO COMEBAAAAAACK THIRD MINI ALBUM ye sSSSS


	4. who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you dating Jisung?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes, another update 
> 
> sorry i've been so slack - exams are coming up so its a bit rough
> 
> i hope you enjoy this tho ; ;

“Are you dating Jisung?” 

Jeongin’s head sways in confusion, he can feel a headache coming on. How could Hyunjin think that? Is he really that blind? Those are Jeongin’s initial thoughts until he remembers everything that has happened in the span of a few days. Jeongin has been avoiding Hyunjin, no puppy love crush to be seen, and then Hyunjin caught Jeongin and Jisung cuddling, reacting badly and yeah, here they are now. Jeongin scratches the back of his neck, nervous and trying to search for something to say. No, he isn’t dating Jisung, but he is gay, and he really, truly loves the (possibly) homophobic boy in front of him. 

“Jeongin,” Hyunjin sighs, head bowed down. “It’s okay, just tell me, I won’t be upset.”

Confirm it, Jeongin’s mind says. Have him hear he is homophobic, hear it for yourself.

“Why-“ breath, “Why would you be upset?” Jeongin asks shakily. 

Hyunjin laughs and Jeongin flinches, ‘it’s true’ blasts through the youngers head, this is it, this is where the love ends. The one he has loved for such a long time, the one who has been through thick and thin with him, is homophobic. He hates him. Jeongin’s eyes begin to swell with tears, threatening to fall onto his cold and pale cheeks. 

Hyunjin takes in a deep breath, Jeongin to lost in his head to notice. 

“You know why Jeongin… The same reason why you have been avoiding me.” 

The tears break free from Jeongin’s eyes and fall onto his cheeks. Hyunjin laughs again, hands in his lap as he refuses to look at Jeongin – but the younger taking it the wrong way and he continues to silently cry. 

“I know it’s disgusting, and I know we won’t be friends anymore. I know, Jeongin.”

“Can you not tell the others though? I still want to be their friend at leas-“

“Stop! Just stop please! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry just please stop.” Jeongin screams, standing as the tears fall from his eyes nonstop. Jeongin’s hands shake as he looks at a shocked Hyunjin.

“I’ll go, I will, just please stop,” Jeongin pleads. This feels worse than rejection. 

“I’m sorry,” Jeongin whispers before running out of the door, the dorm and Hyunjin’s heart.

☽

Hyunjin’s vision is blurry, hands shaking as he sits in shock. What just happened?  
He snaps out of his thoughts when an angry Changbin rushes into the room. 

“What’s wrong? Where did Jeongin go?” Changbin shouts.   
His eyes are set on Hyunjin who sits on the bed in silence, not able to say anything. The tears remain in his eyes, not spilling and not drying. They are just there. Changbin calls to Hyunjin and gets no reply in return. A worried Woojin shows up behind Changbin, asking Hyunjin to tell them what happened and where Jeongin went, but he just sits. 

“Hyunjin, I fucking-” Changbin rushes over and grabs Hyunjin by the shirt, picking him up and slamming him against the wall, Hyunjin showing no sign of emotion. “What the fuck happened to Jeongin?” Hyunjin’s eyes roll slowly to look at Changbin, whose knuckles are turning white. 

“Changbin, let go.” Woojin pleads.

They know Changbin would never hurt Hyunjin, harmless to all of the members. They know this, but a slight pang of fear settles uncomfortably in the pit of Woojin’s stomach. He has never seen Changbin like this and he has to assume it’s because nothing like this has ever happened. The eldest prays Changbin will make no moves.

After moments of silence, apart from the heavy breathing coming from Changbin, Hyunjin finally replies.

“I don’t know,” Hyunjin whispers, voice cracking. His eyes roll away, settling to stare at the wall instead. 

Changbin is pushed aside unexpectedly, stumbling to the bed. “Wha-“

Woojin yells out as a fist makes sudden contact with Hyunjin’s face. Hyunjin falls to the ground, hands to his face as his eyes widen, tears finally falling out. Woojin runs to Hyunjin’s side to check if the younger is alright. 

“Stop it! Just stop it all of you! Fucking talk to each other, I’m not having this.” He snaps.

Jisung stands over Hyunjin, happy with what he did. 

“You broke his heart.” Jisung spits. 

Hyunjin’s head whips up to Jisung, “What do you mean I broke his heart?”  
Jisung scoffs. “Don’t act like the reason he ran away isn’t because you’re a homophobic douche who wouldn’t even listen to his feelings for you. It should be you out there, not Jeongin.”

“I love him.”

The room stills.

“What?” Changbin growls.

“H-he, Jeongin, he’s dating Jisung b-but, I love him. I love Jeongin.”

“What?” Changbin repeats.

“Jeongin and I aren’t dating? Jeongin loves you.” Jisung says.

“What?” Changbin shouts. 

“Hyunjin-ah,” Woojin whispers.

“Go find him and bring him home.”

Hyunjin has never ran faster in his life.


	5. you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gUYs IM Sorry I OFFICIALLY FINISHED MY SECOND LAST YEAR OF SCHOOL AND I HAD EXAMS N SHIT BUT NOW ITS THE XMAS HOLIDAYS SO IM FREE AND I WROTE THIS PIECE OF SHIT :DDDDDD
> 
> COMMENT IF YOU WANT BONUS CHAP OF FLUFF AFTER THEY GET TOGETHER/????
> 
> yeet:)) . merry christmas guys

Hyunjin’s first place he thinks of is the park. 

The place where they first bonded, where they have snuck out to together, where secrets were shared, tears were shed, laughter was made. The memories flash through Hyunjin’s head as he runs. 

⌈ “Hyung, is there anyone you like?” Jeongin asks. He’s sitting on the swing next to Hyunjin, legs swinging back and forth, head down looking at the ground. The sudden change in topic catches Hyunjin off guard and he forces out an awkward laugh. 

Jeongin’s swinging speeds up a bit and his hands grip the sides. 

“Tzuyu noona? Chaeyoungie noona?” Jeongin mumbles. 

This time Hyunjin laughs for real. He has maybe talked to them once but they aren’t exactly friends, missing the status by a year in age, the Twice girls being older. “No, Innie.”   
Jeongin hums, head still down and Hyunjin watches him, heart beating happily. You, Innie. I like you.

“Jisungie hyung?” and Hyunjin chokes on air. He splutters and searches for an answer, the only word in his whole vocabulary that he can think of is, “Ew.”

Jeongin looks up in shock and repeats the sound. “Ew?” Hyunjin laughs and nods.

“Why would I ever? That’s super gross Innie.” And with that the subject was dropped. Jeongin never asked Hyunjin who he liked, in fear of his crush being homophobic, and Hyunjin was always too shy to bring the subject up again. 

And there was the time when Jeongin pushed Hyunjin down the slide a little too fast and rough. It was after a day of hard-core practising and their manager let them out for ice cream and time at the park to relax. While the other boys were off doing their own things, Hyunjin begged and begged for the younger to push him down just once and after minutes of pestering, Jeongin gave in. Jeongin thought it would be funny to send Hyunjin flying down the small steel slide until he actually sent Hyunjin flying down the small steel slide and he landed on his face, grazing his chin and causing it to bleed. Jeongin jumped off the base of the slide instantly and rushed to Hyunjin’s side, grabbing his face and pulling it close to his own to investigate the fresh wound. He apologised over and over, tears welling in his eyes but Hyunjin just laughed and pushed Jeongin onto the ground with him.

“It’s okay Innie. Go get me a band aid and the biggest ice cream you can find.”

Jeongin nodded instantly and got to his feet to run to the convenience stop but Hyunjin grabbed his arm. Jeongin was back on his knees within seconds, worry painted all over his face.

“And maybe a kiss too. Just to heal it…”

Jeongin laughed and ran to get the things his hyung asked for. The kiss was never gifted. ⌋

Hyunjin wipes the sweat above his brow and wipes it on his pants. His heart is beating faster than it has before and he honestly can’t pinpoint the reason why. Jeongin is gone, Jeongin loves him, he hurt Jeongin, the list goes on. His eyes scan the area and he spots a figure under the slide, head in their knees. His thoughts and memories of this park disappear as he runs to the slide. He slows down as he gets closer and sees his favourite brown hair, sticking out in all directions as if it’s been pulled at. Hyunjin hears a sniff as he gets closer and his heart tugs. It hurts.

“Innie.” He calls softly. 

He sees Jeongin further bury his head into his knees and the grip on himself tightens. He reaches Jeongin’s side and sits down next to him, too afraid to touch him. 

“Innie… I’m…” Hyunjin takes a shuddered breath. 

Hyunjin looks at him. Really looks at him. He’s not afraid. He wraps his arms around Jeongin’s small body and lets everything go. The tears overflow from his eyes as he chokes out a sob. Grip tight on the unmoving Jeongin.

“Hyung’s sorry Innie. I’m so, so sorry that I put you through hell. Innie please forgive me. I didn’t know how you felt, Innie, please.” Hyunjin rambles on, tears soaking into Jeongin’s jumper. At the last line, Jeongin flinches and Hyunjin lets go. 

Jeongin looks up at the older boy and Hyunjin sees the tear streaks on his face, as if his heart couldn’t break anymore. Hyunjin holds himself back from wiping tears away, in caution of scaring Jeongin away again. 

“Hyung.” Jeongin began, but his voice cracked and so did the rest of him, the tears falling down the same streaks as before, his body slumping before Hyunjin. 

Before Hyunjin can think to do anything else, he grabs the boy’s face and pulls it to his own, lips smashing together harsh and messy. It hurts, his lips, his heart, his legs, but it feels right. This what is supposed to happen, this is how they are supposed to do. Hyunjin lets go of Jeongin’s face and pulls away, slowly opening his wet eyes. He is met with a frowning boy in front of him, tears still falling.

“Why would you do that? Do you hate me that much?” He asks, voice raising. 

Hyunjin chokes in surprise. 

“Innie, I told you, this is a misunderstanding, okay? I don’t hate you baby.” 

“Don’t. Don’t call me baby. Are the boys making you do this?” Jeongin yells.

“Innie, please. Calm down. Let me explain.” Hyunjin pleads, hands reaching for the tears to wipe them away but Jeongin slaps his hand away. 

“Don’t tou-“ “Jeongin, I love you!” Hyunjin yells, tears threatening to fall again.

Jeongin’s hands drop and his mouth closes. He stares at the other boy with wide eyes. 

“I love you, okay? I love you Innie.” Hyunjin whispers, finally taking Jeongin’s hand in his.

Hyunjin looks down at their joint hands and takes a shaky breath. 

“I… Well, I thought you found out about my feelings and you were grossed out so you started avoiding me… and then I thought you were dating Jisung and I was so hurt and jealous and overall embarrassed. That’s why I didn’t want you tell the others and I was okay with you hating me… I understood. I’m so sorry Innie, I’m sorry we had this misunderstanding. I… I Hope you don’t hate me.” 

Jeongin grips Hyunjin’s hands back and squeezes them. Hyunjin looks up at him and sees Jeongin has stopped crying, but his cheeks and nose have gone red, a small smile on his face.

“You’re so stupid… We are so stupid… Hyung, I love you too. I love you so much.”  
Jeongin lets go of his hands and for a second Hyunjin is scared but soon relieved when Jeongin’s arms are wrapped around Hyunjin’s neck, along with his head that he buries there too. Hyunjin feels the warmth spread through his whole body and he smiles, wrapping his arms around Jeongin’s body.

“I love you.” 

☽

“I can’t believe you thought I was dating Jisung hyung. He smells like dirty socks.”

t h e e n d


End file.
